The strangest political parties in the 2022 Italian elections

Can't believe someone would vote for these!

Welcome back to Crazy Ass Moments in Italian Politics!

These are rather quiet days, something we are not used to, but let's not despair: as soon as the new government is formed, the classic political mess we love so much will return! We have no doubt about that.

What better occasion to revive the glories of the election campaign we left behind? We have experienced many crazy moments together.

Let's start today by presenting the strangest political parties that we have come across. Among the 101 symbols that were deposited were some truly bizarre ones, with unlikely candidates and programmes bordering on the ridiculous. So let's get started!

It is important to note that these 'parties' often exist only on paper, and in almost all cases have failed to collect signatures and documentation to end up on the ballot paper. But just imagine if they had succeeded...

#7: Free

It wasn't enough for poor Pinocchio to be tortured by Roberto Benigni, now comes this 'Free' party with its stylised little man kicking his head.

“Free” (that’s the name, in English) is led by the former deputy mayor of Guastalla Marco Lusetti, and the only point of his party is to 'protect the Constitution from the lies of politicians'. Few ideas but firm, if nothing else.

The party only managed to run in the Lombardia 4 constituency, and obviously elected no one.

#6: The Party of Creative Madness

There is a lot to be said about Giuseppe Cirillo, a.k.a. Dr. Seduction - starting with the fact that he released a porn video where he has sex with a nun - but let's stay on the political theme. Giuseppe Cirillo is a 'sexologist' (sic) and in the past he ran for the presidency of the Umbria region and as mayor of Rome.

In his party's programme are: the 'fine for politicians' who do not fulfil their commitments, the creation of the 'ministry of creative madness', and 'courtship lessons', as well as free distribution of condoms. During the presentation of his list, he also showed his revolutionary invention: portable zebra crossings. No shit.

Incredibly, his party managed to run for the Chamber of Deputies in the Lazio 1 constituency. Electing no one, of course.

#5: Sanitary Revolution

Yes, that’s a guillotine. Adriano Panzironi took quite a stance here, uh?

But who is this guy? Panzironi is an Italian entrepreneur, known for being the creator and promoter of a dietary regime called Life 120, that promises to make you live to 120 - and that a court has declared to be hazardous to health.

His party's programme? That of decapitating (of course) 'the current health leadership' in order to 'change medicine and save millions of people'.

Let us hope that the guillotine is not proposed as a cure for headaches.

#4: Long Live Freedom

I can find absolutely nothing either on this party's programme or on who this chap is - not that we give a rat's ass, right?

One thing is certain: this guy is in urgent need of a graphic designer. Preferably one who has finished primary school.

#3: Light of the South

Remember that Pokémon episode that was censored because it caused epileptic seizures? Well, the logo of 'Light of the South' must have been inspired by that.

All you need to know about Giusy Papale and her party 'Light of the South' is this, and this, and this, and this. However, if you want to step back in time and remember how bad website graphics were in the 1990s, visit her site.

Her programme: cut prices in half (of everything, just like that, without logic), all degrees with a maximum duration of two years, everyone retired at 55 and 'helping the poor with money' (seriously). Not the worst programme I read, indeed.

#2: Holy Roman Catholic and Pacifist Empire

Believe it or not, this party has existed since 1987, so it is older than many actual parties in Parliament!

Founded by a lawyer named Mirella Cece (who is also the woman you see represented in the four cameos), the party has no written programme. Evidently, for the past 30 years, she has not found five spare minutes.

However, its founder, as always, comes first at list registration and then chooses to register her party as number 3. I would say that as an oddity it is enough, no?

If you like Latin, have fun translating.

#1: Better Call Pierluca

If there were a kingdom for the strangest political parties, this would undoubtedly be the king!

I can’t find much about its founder, a lawyer called (guess what!) Pier Luca Dal Canto. But if you are crazy enough to know what the whole text says - which is also the whole party’s programme - here it is:

Long live the martyrs of free thought
Long live the poets of action
No to strategism
No to private pension funds
Abolition of social security contributions
"Knowledge unite* - ignorance divides - the mangiogna** kills"
To avoid the self-destruction triggered by the Dr. Strangeloves of the nuclear powers
MOVEMENT FOR THE ESTABLISHMENT OF CHRISTIAN SCIENTIFIC SOCIALISM AS EXPLAINED IN
“Oscar Wilde's The Soul of Man Under Socialism”
MOVEMENT FOR THE ABOLITION OF SEIGNIORAGE AS EXPOUNDED BY LAWYER ALFONSO LUIGI MARRA
NO TO THE PRIVATE WELFARE OF LAWYERS
NO GUINEA PIGS NO GREEN PASS
NO DIGITAL CONTROL
NO ELECTRONIC MONEY
BETTER CALL PIERLUCA
pierluca.dal-canto@libero.it
Life is beautiful! With art and thought for living:
estetasofodinamicità***
NO TO DOGMATIC MEDICINE
YES TO THE GALILEAN METHOD

*misspelled in the original text
**no idea of what it means
***same

HONOURABLE MENTION

Former 5-Star Movement MP Sara Cunial's no-vax party 'Vita' uploaded its programme documents to the Ministry of the Interior's website... but there were smashed bugs between the pages of the scanned sheets! There is something paradoxical about this, given that the party is called Life.

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Well, how about it? Did you feel like voting for any of them? Until next time!